9/11

I am watching National Geographic today -- Inside 9/11.

It's hard to believe it's been five years. It seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday.

Did that really happen? I remember seeing it all unfold on the news, each new detail worse than the last. I remember crying all day and most of that week, shaken. I remember going there one month later and smelling the quiet, putrid breeze. I'll never forget the comraderie and sympathy in everyone's eyes.

I know where my soul is; it's in the exact middle of my body. It is where I feel pain every 20 seconds or so when I watch the footage from that day. It fades for a while when I see a paramedic or a fire fighter or a civilian rescuing or helping someone. My sadness is replaced with pride and respect then.

I am watching the footage from that day, like everyone else, because it's the five year anniversary. I am so drawn to the story. I don't need to explain it.

All over again, today I am so sad and so proud and so sad and so proud. Every 20 seconds or so.